It was in 2010 when Diane heard these words, “You have terminal, secondary breast cancer, metastasized in your lungs, a life expectancy of 12 months, zero percent chance of 18 months +, go home and put your affairs in order” Seriously my life contract is not with this funny little oncology man, sitting in front of me. I’m sure he means well, but my life is not in the hands of a man dressed in long socks, sandals and walking shorts. I couldn’t really hear him talking however what I could hear was the whisper of my own heart. So I listened……….Be Happy, Go Natural, Be Grateful. I went home and did that – HAPPY, NATURAL & GRATEFUL. This was my second diagnosis of cancer, the first time I did the medical treatment – that treatment didn’t seem like an option now that my second diagnosis was considered terminal.
So, I withdrew myself from the medical system and just undertook natural therapies. Acupuncture, Chiro, diet, herbs, supplements (vit c + apricot kernels), energy healing. I did what felt right for as long as it felt right. I meditated, I trained in karate (non contact), I walked my dog. I was totally focused on wellness.
I acknowledged my cancer and asked what it was here to teach me? I asked my cancer for a little more space to breath. I didn’t hate it, banish it or wish it was gone. I did not FLIGHT. It was part of me, I had created it. My body could un-create it, work with it, learn. I lived very presently. I didn’t expect to heal, I just asked for a little more time and better quality of life. I loved. I laughed. I surrendered. I let go of any EXPECTED OUTCOME. I realized that in any given moment this was as good as life got, and then again now + now + now.
I lived with cancer, with cancer came GRACE.
We lived together happily gratefully and then I healed.
I felt very well, so well we decided to have a baby (without medical tests to see if I was “fine”) I felt fine so we got pregnant. We only had 6 weeks to conceive – I was having children after 40
My husband was like “WHAT! we have been through 3,000 earthquakes (we live in Christchurch NZ), we can’t get to our house (EQ damaged), we have relocated both of our businesses (+ one had to be relocated again), we are staying at your sisters – there is no action happening.” It’s okay I booked two nights away! Thankfully my husband performs very well under pressure + 4 weeks before my 40th Birthday our one and only child was born.
My son is six. There is no sign of cancer in my body.
And so now I’m doing what we all naturally do. Living my life + telling my story. If it helps others see their lives in a different way then maybe it will all start to make sense and I’ll be able to understand why I survived.
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